BOOMj Expert: Sex Obstacles Past 50

2008-06-10 15:55:41

Like for instance:

Performance and age issues.

They say there are two frightening moments for a man – the first time he can’t do it twice and the second time he can’t do it once. The fear of impotence looms as a man sometimes sees this as the beginning of the end of his sexuality. It can become a self fulfilling prophecy if he withdraws from sexual expression and intimacy. Fear of aging, fear of loss and fear of death are fairly common but if dwelled upon, can wreck havoc on the psyche. Some advice: Don’t let it

Women often buy into the false premise that with menopause comes a decline in sexual desire. If the man believes this and as a result, he hesitates initiating intimacy, the woman can misinterpret that as lack of interest on his part. She may, consequently back away herself. You see where this is going.

Combat, apathy, or distraction.

Some couples love to fight. Make that live to fight. Their whole relationship is based on verbal punches, conflict and sarcasm. Unless you’re the kind of person who gets turned on by a life like that there is not much room for love, intimacy or sex. Then there are the couples who are just going through the motions. Certainly not the e-motions. They may have been in love a long time ago but now they just don’t seem to put much effort into anything — including their love and sex lives. The sad part is that these people would probably say they are happy. There are couples who might like each other if they knew each other were alive. These people consider other things in life a priority. Like careers, money, property, social engagements, — even hobbies.

Hello? Anybody home?

Teenage kids.

Yes, some of us still have them.

As we all know by now, we are not like Ozzie and Harriet raising David and Ricky. Living with teenagers can be pretty stressful — especially on a marriage. Many couples experience an ebb, to say the least, in their sex lives.

It’s not enough that we have issues of our own we are trying to work out, there are our teenager’s angst and raging hormones to contend with as well. Dealing with our children’s emerging sexuality may result in our own sexuality (desire) taking a back seat.

Aging parents.

Being part of the generation often called “the sandwich generation,” is probably the most difficult of all. We’re right smack in the middle, trying to cope with both our maturing children’s and our aging parent’s wants and needs. We often have to deal with each of the other generation’s demands while trying to make everyone happy. It ain’t easy. If that isn’t stressful enough, seeing our aging parent’s decline both physically and mentally is a glimpse into our own future. Definitely not a turn-on.

Health issues.

Unfortunately, conditions such as heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes and other chronic illnesses do put a damper on sexuality. No explanation needed.

Society’s perception.

The danger here is buying into the (outdated) perception that once one reaches a certain age, sex falls by the wayside. Hopefully, we all know by now that the urges are still there and as this magazine constantly reminds us, we are alive and kicking. We may do it a little less often but as many of us can testify, we have become more sensual when doing it. Society. (sigh) What do they know?

So, to wrap this up —Just as rules were made to be broken, obstacles were made to be overcome. Go for it!

Check out Gary's other BOOMj articles here: http://www.boomj.com/garygeyer

www.letlifein.com

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